Definition
Recognize the suffering of a being and create the desire to respond to it with care, accuracy and discernment.
It combines three movements: to perceive difficulty, to be touched without being submerged, and then to seek a useful answer. It therefore goes further than emotion alone: it involves an orientation towards action, even when this action consists simply of listening or staying present.
To be retained
- Recognizing suffering without minimizing it
- Distinguish compassion and pity
- Seeking adapted assistance rather than imposing
- Maintaining its limits to stay available
Origin of the term and context
The word comes from the Latin compatī, "suffering with." In contemporary usage, compassion does not mean absorbing all the pain of others, but recognizing its suffering and seeking an adjusted response.
Why does it matter?
Compassion supports mutual aid and humanizes relationships. It can encourage listening, reduce the hardness of judgment and promote prosocial behaviour.
- Supporting self-help behaviour
- Reduce the hardness of judgment
- Promoting a calmer response to distress
- Strengthening the quality of the relationship
How can I practice it?
- Internally name the observed difficulty
- Listen before counselor
- Asking what would really be useful
- Maintaining its limits to avoid exhaustion
Misconceptions and points of caution
- Compassion is not pity.
- She doesn't ask for an apology.
- She doesn't have to sacrifice herself.
Perspectives from different traditions
- Buddhism: karu
- Christianity: mercy and attention to the neighbor.
- Humanism: solidarity and recognition of common vulnerability.
To go further
- Plea for Altruism — Matthieu Ricard
- The Compassionate Mind — Paul Gilbert