Definition
Understand or feel the experience of others while keeping the distinction between what he lives and what he lives.
A common distinction is cognitive empathy, which helps to understand the point of view of others, and emotional empathy, which makes one part of his emotion resonate. A balanced empathy retains a clear border: understanding the other does not mean becoming the other, nor assume that one knows exactly what he feels.
To be retained
- Understanding without pretending to know everything
- Check its interpretations
- Maintaining the distinction between oneself and others
- Transforming understanding into respectful listening
Origin of the term and context
The modern term comes from the German Einfühlung, literally "feeling from inside", then taken up in psychology to describe the understanding of the experience of others.
Why does it matter?
The feeling of empathy often improves communication and listening quality. However, it remains flawless: we can misinterpret emotions or project our own story.
- Improving communication
- Facilitating cooperation
- Better identification of expressed needs
- Limiting certain relational misunderstandings
How can I practice it?
- Reword what the other expresses
- Check its interpretation with a question
- Distinguish facts, emotions and needs
- Accept not to understand everything
Misconceptions and points of caution
- Empathy does not mean approval.
- Feeling a lot doesn't make it right.
- Limitless empathy can wear out.
Perspectives from different traditions
- Buddhism: Understanding the suffering associated with compassion.
- Phenomenology: Attention to the experience lived.
- Humanist psychology: listening to the person.
To go further
- The power of empathy — Simon Baron-Cohen
- A Way of Being — Carl Rogers