Definition
To recognize a reality without a claim that it is desirable or a waiver of action.
Accepting is to recognize that a reality is present, even when it is unpleasant or unfair. This recognition avoids devoting all its energy to denying what already exists. It can then open a space for choice, adaptation or action, without imposing resignation.
To be retained
- Clearly name what is present
- Distinguish acceptance and approval
- Identify what remains editable
- Action without combating the facts already established
Origin of the term and context
The word comes from the Latin acceptare, "receiving, welcoming." In psychology and in several contemplative traditions, it refers to a less conflictual relationship to the present experience.
Why does it matter?
Mentally refusing a reality already there sometimes adds a second suffering. Acceptance can release energy for action, without turning injustice into fatality.
- Reducing unnecessary internal struggle
- Helping regulate certain emotions
- Support adaptation to a situation
- Free energy for a chosen action
How can I practice it?
- Name facts without dramatizing
- Welcoming the emotions present
- Identify what still depends on yourself
- Acting where a margin exists
Misconceptions and points of caution
- Accepting is not approved.
- Accepting is not giving up.
- Acceptance does not prohibit anger or action.
Perspectives from different traditions
- Buddhism: observation of impermanence.
- Stoicism: to distinguish what depends on us.
- ACT Therapies: openness to experience and commitment to action.
To go further
- The Happiness Trap — Russ Harris
- Manual — Epistete