Definition
A form of love that does not depend entirely on the performance, utility or conformity of the other.
This expression describes a love that does not depend entirely on the success, usefulness or conformity of the other. It affirms a fundamental value of the person, while allowing to disapprove of certain behaviors. In a healthy relationship, unconditional love remains compatible with responsibility, distance and protection of oneself.
To be retained
- Distinguish the person from his actions
- Love without giving up its limits
- Do not confuse love with addiction
- Include self-respect
Origin of the term and context
The expression is especially contemporary, even though many traditions describe a love that goes beyond personal interest: agape, mettā, divine love or idealized parental love.
Why does it matter?
This concept helps to distinguish a person's value from his or her behaviour, and does not remove responsibility, limitations, or the need to protect himself or herself.
- Support the feeling of relationship security
- Facilitating authentic expression
- Reduce certain forms of conditional judgment
- Do not justify abusive relationships
How can I practice it?
- Express affection without manipulation
- Separate the person from his or her behaviour
- Maintain clear boundaries
- Growing up also self-love
Misconceptions and points of caution
- To love unconditionally does not mean to remain in a dangerous relationship.
- Love does not cancel the consequences.
- He does not ask for self-forgett.
Perspectives from different traditions
- Christianity: agape.
- Buddhism: mettā, universal kindness.
- Bhakti: devotion and love of the divine.
To go further
- The Art of Loving — Erich Fromm
- Love — Osho, read in critical hindrance