Definition
The cultivated wish that beings know security and wellbeing, without possessivity or preference limited to its near circle.
Practice often uses phrases addressed to oneself, to relatives, to neutral people and gradually to a wider circle. It does not require getting closer to a dangerous person.
To be retained
- Wishing the good without possessing
- Start at a bearable intensity
- Keep protective limits
- Linking desire and action
Origin of the term and context
Mettā in pāli corresponds to Sanskrit masterī and derives from the idea of friendship. It is one of the four brahmavihāra, or sublime homes.
Why does it matter?
Some studies on kindness meditation suggest modest effects on emotions and relationships. Methods and results vary, and practice is not a universal treatment.
- Wishing the good without possessing
- Start at a bearable intensity
- Keep protective limits
- Linking desire and action
How can it be explored or practised?
- Repeat a realistic safety phrase
- Gradually include a neutral person
- Turn wish into a little gesture
- Return to the body if exercise becomes painful
Misconceptions and points of caution
- Do not necessarily start with an abusive person.
- Guilt is not mettā.
- A wish does not replace the reparation.
Perspectives from different traditions
- Theravāda: methodically cultivated brahmavihāra.
- Mahāyāna: masterī linked to compassion and bodhicitta.
- Secular approaches: psychological exercise, to be distinguished from its complete framework.
To go further
- Lovingkindness — Sharon Salzberg
- Karassa - with comment